Apple Products & The Apocalypse

*Thwack*

Another apple falls on my head. 

The season is appropriately named.  

We have two very small trees, each just three years old, which have produced a grand total of approximately eight apples in their short existence.  Maybe down the road my future kids will be able to pick from these trees.

For now, I'll be thankful for neighbors who let me drive over whenever I'm out, hauling away bushel baskets of apples for free so long as I pick them myself.  

Before

If you're looking for "after" you won't find it because I got distracted convincing one of the guys in my family to help me carry it in the house.  I fully support "independent women who don't need no men" but I will also never turn free labor-I mean help-when I can get it.

This peeler is the best invention since the bread slicer.

It peels.  It cores.  It slices.  It's named as such.  It's a magical tool. 

We have two: one from my dad's grandma, one from my mom's grandma.

One works. One I misplaced.  Unfortunately, those are the same.

I found this spiffy, brand-new version of the same gadget in a thrift store.  I bought it because I understand its value.  The store selling it did not, but I didn't feel the need to explain.  

Future Apple Pies

I've been fascinated with canning since I made strawberry rhubarb jam for 4-H in sixth grade.  Now I make it to sell jam at the farmer's market.  At least three times this summer, well-intentioned adults asked me "did your mom make this"?  No, actually, because I, a millennial, not only know how to make food from scratch, but I enjoy doing so.

For the record, mom and I both processed the apples pictured above, Train's Save Me San Francisco album providing background music.  She probably helped me because I told her I'd do the rest of the steps if she'd run the Peeler-Corer-Slicer thingy.  I told you it was a magical tool.

I love canning.

You make food, you seal it in jars, you put it on shelves and use the contents when it suits you. 

It doesn't take up fridge or freezer space.  It's the ultimate in food prep.

If there's a zombie apocalypse in our future, guess who has three varieties of salsa in her pantry? That's correct, I do.  Even if there isn't an apocalypse, you can still have apple pie from your neighborhood orchard in March. 

That's reason enough for me.

 - Grace  

A Berry Out of Its Element

Strawberry Sweet Rolls with Cream Cheese Frosting

A baking post, huh?

Will it be *spins the wheel of fall desserts*
1) Pumpkin Spice
2) Caramel Apple
3) Apple Spice
4) Pumpkin Caramel
5) Pecan-whatever-Starbucks-invented
6) Peppermint from someone far too gung-ho for Christmas this early in the year

Nope.

Food is the one thing for which I tend to follow the seasons.  Late spring tastes like fresh peas and new potatoes.  June is for rhubarb, summer is for berries, fall is for chili and cinnamon rolls, and the cycle continues.  The rhythm of the foods in my garden is as regular as the days on our family calendar.  But then there are days when you look at the gloomy, we've-had-rain-for-three-days weather, and you think "I want food that doesn't make me wish humans hibernated."

For everything, there is a season, and for strawberries, it is not October, but yesterday, I didn't care.

This past week, one of my dear friends gifted me this marble board.  It's without a doubt the coolest kitchen item I've ever used.  If I had an espresso maker, this might be a more difficult statement to make, but as it is, it's the coolest.

I love dough.  If I didn't, I wouldn't make pies for the farmer's market all summer, so this is fairly obvious.  It's one of my great joys in life and the biggest wall between me and eating paleo, or keto, or any of those diets which are probably fantastic for overall health.  I choose joy.  I choose white flour pastries.

None of the recipes I found on Pinterest really fit what I was looking for, because canned strawberry pie filling does not float my goat.
I took strawberry pie and cinnamon roll recipes from two friends and combined parts of each into one of my proudest original creations.

Ah, the difficulties of kitchens without natural lighting.

Strawberry Sweet Rolls with Cream Cheese Frosting

{INGREDIENTS}

Sweet Roll Dough:
1 C warm milk (105-115 degrees F)
1/3 C butter, melted
2 eggs
4.5 tsp yeast
4.5 C white flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 C white sugar

Strawberry Filling:
1/2 C white sugar
1.5 TBSP cornstarch
1/2 C water
1 C strawberries, fresh or frozen, hulled

Cream Cheese Frosting:
4 oz cream cheese, softened
1/4 C butter, softened
1.5 C powdered sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla

{DIRECTIONS}

Option 1: Place all dough ingredients in a bread machine on the "dough" cycle (skip to step #6).

Option 2:

1) By hand, or in a mixer with a dough hook, stir together the milk, butter, half the flour, yeast, salt, and white sugar

2) Mix in the eggs.

3) Add the remaining flour, and stir to combine.

4) If you're using a mixer, allow it to mix for 4-6 minutes.

If you're making this dough by hand, you may have to dump it onto a counter (or snazzy marble board) to incorporate all of the flour.  Knead by hand 4-6 minutes.  

5) Allow to sit, covered, for 10 minutes. 

6) Stir together sugar and cornstarch in a small saucepan.  Add water and strawberries, and stir.  

7) While cooking over medium heat, crush berries with a potato masher. 

8) Bring to a boil, and then lower temperature and cook for two minutes, stirring often, until thick and translucent.  

9) Roll out dough into large rectangle, roughly 20 in. by 16 in. 

10) Spread strawberry filling thinly, leaving at least 3/4" of each long wise uncovered.  You may have extra, but too much filling makes it impossible to roll them up.  It's okay, we'll get to the leftovers later.

11) Roll up, starting at one of the long sides. Pinch seam closed.  

12) Slice using thread or a knife, into 12, 18, or 24 rolls depending on preferred size.  

13) Place in 2 buttered 9 x 13 pans, cover with towels, and allow to rise for one hour.  I preheat my oven and let them sit on the back of the stove where it is very warm. 

14) Bake at 375 degrees for 17-20 minutes or until lightly browned. DO NOT OVERBAKE. 

15) Cream all frosting ingredients together and spread onto cooled rolls. 

Have fun with your baking adventures, friends.
May they be delicious, and as in-season as you wish them to be.

- Grace